Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
