it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
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