fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
Randomize
