We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
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Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
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Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
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