literally had 100 drinks last night.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
I'm too high and old for this...
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
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