Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
