we made out on top of his cat.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Randomize
