What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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