Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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