Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
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