Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Randomize
