then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Randomize
