oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize
