Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
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