i would punch a child for taco bell
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
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