god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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