Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
This house was built for laser tag.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize
