My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Randomize
