I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
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Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
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Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
Please don't give away my fajitas
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize