Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
