i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Randomize
