I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
