Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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