i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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