He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
