There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
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