I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Randomize
