She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
