Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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