I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Randomize
