My boss' voice literally gives me gas
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
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