So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
My liver just broke up with me...
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Randomize
