I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize