I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
it glows. i had to have it.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Those nachos came to me in a dream
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Randomize
