You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
