then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
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