I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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