Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
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