"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
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