we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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