Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
