I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Randomize
