Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
