But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Randomize
