allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
