I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
