the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
