Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
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