It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
