paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Randomize
