Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize
