I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
