Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
