In the future we'll all be gay
I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
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