my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
Randomize
