I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
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